My Dearest Conor,
It's 230 in the morning and you have just woken and crawled into bed with me. I was awake, watching you in the monitor, toss and turn, knowing that it wouldn't be long before you were in here. Not sure why I was awake, just a lot on my mind I guess.
This past weekend was your walk weekend. You were not there. I was, and not having you there was very hard. I saw lots of familiar faces, every single one of which asked me "Where's Conor?" You are so incredibly loved Monkey. But yeah, just being there in general was emotional, but the fact that you were not there made it even more emotional.
Soooo many people were at the walk. An estimated 22,000 to 25,000 people to be exact. 1.4 million dollars were raised, 1/2 of which is guaranteed to stay here in our state to benefit SARRC and even more money available to stay with local grants.
I was also the official photographer again this year and had some amazing people helping me. Andy (your future father in law) helped again, then there were two new friends of ours Christine and Shannon. Shannon is Gavin's mommy from Buddy Baseball. And then there was Dana who flew across the country just for the walk and to help me and support you. I don't know what I would do without Dana, Monk. She helped Mommy a lot this weekend and not just with the walk. She kinda put Mommy in her place and told her to stop being dumb. On top of being schooled by Dana, we got to see Jamie and Victor and Aunt Cookie and Uncle Dodie and best of all.... You got to play with Mateo twice and also last night when Caleb and Isaiah were there. It was very clear just how much you missed them all. You flapped your hands so much from excitement I thought a couple times there you were going to get some air and start flying around the room. I think it was made clear too to Dana and Jamie moving to Jersey was a mistake. I see them moving back here before next summer, if not sooner.
Then on Saturday, we went over to Jayen's house where Nicole cooked breakfast and you played, mostly on the stairs, but you played. Nicole made this huge spread, it looked like something out of a Foodie Magazine. I was having some issues just before we got there and was just a bundle of nerves so I wasn't really in the mood for food, but I did take a little of each of her dishes and it tasted even better than it looked. Nicole really did a great job and it was an honor to be there.
Well Monkey. It's now 3am and I guess I should wrap this letter up and make another attempt at sleep. I just wish I could just stop thinking long enough for my brain to go into sleep mode, it's not easy. Been a rough weekend and it's only going to get rougher, but I will get through it. I will find a way Monkey.
Good night, sweet dreams.
I love you
Mommy
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